M•O•M~ 5 Tips for you to be Happy

Mom. A noun that evokes so many feelings, thoughts and memories.  As kids we didn’t understand why they were so beautiful, mean, and loving at the same time, but then, one day your designated noun goes from Woman to Mom and everything changes. We almost want to go back to being kids just to hug our Mom’s and tell them “we get you, and please tell me how you did it?”  I don’t have a perfect formula, and although I no longer have my Mom around to help me get thru Moherhood, I’ve learned a few things from observing her and seeing her grow with us, from other moms, sometimes older, sometimes younger than me. So here’s my take on how to stay sane while raising kids and being happy.  

1. Take time for yourself.  I’m not talking about a spa day. Let’s be honest although it sounds amazing, it doesn’t happen as often as it should. But I’m talking about finding something that you can do for yourself alone which helps you be happy. For me it can be a wonderful cup of coffee, getting a mani pedi, or having a meal without interruptions! Find that one thing that lets you escape for a bit and do it!
2.  Invest in your friendships. Your friends are like cheerleaders. Except at this point in your life they just don’t cheer you all the time. Sometimes they bring you to reality. They help you see things clearer. They support you while you’re down. They keep you grounded and help you have meaningful adult conversations. Friends don’t have to be your same age or even be parents themselves. They just have to be there. And not all the time. We all have lives and families. But once in a while it’s nice to find that one friend who is there for you and helps you keep going. Sometimes you end up being the one to keep them going, so be there for your friends! 
3. Let others help you with your load. If you grew up in the 80’s you wanted to be Wonder Woman. But she’s a fictional character. While we are wonders and sometimes I say would rather say, freaks of nature for being able to function like octopus’, while some drown in half a glass of water, we can’t do it all. It’s not possible without help. Even successful business women who say you can have a career and a family life have many people behind the scenes who day  in and day out help with chores, appointments, driving the kids to school, picking them up, etc.  While your kids will always be your responsibility, there’s nothing wrong with accepting help regularly or when needed.  When my youngest was born my mother in law would come and do my laundry. At first I was embarrassed but once I started to feel like a a toy running out of batteries I was so glad I took the help. When my oldest was a newborn a friend would stop by on her way home from work just so I could shower while she watching him for me. Those little gestures were orcelsss tokens of love and appreciation that no material gift could ever give me!
4. Make time for your partner. It’s incredible how much our kids absorb us day to day. Sometimes we fall into the rythm of them chiming in every two seconds and our partner gets the tired, sometimes grumpy, sometimes sleepy, version of us. Some can’t have a designated date night weekly. And that’s fine. It doesn’t have to be every week or every week the same day and time, but do remember that your partner was there before you had kids. You need time to have conversations without your kids adding their two cents constantly. Find a time when your kids are most relaxed or in school and call each other. Ask how they’re day is going. Make time to go out alone. It benefits the relationship to spend time together and focus on each other even if it’s just for a few hours!
5. Be spontaneous.  Some of the best outings we’ve had as a family haven’t been planned, or very little planning was involved. Don’t think about  the amount of things you’ll have to do to make it happen. Sometimes you just have to go and forget about the dishes, the laundry, and the groceries and go to a park, go to a historic site, discover a new place together and make memories as a family!

Please feel free to leave a comment or two about what keeps you happy and sane as a Mom!